If this is your first adoption, there is much to learn, much to think about, decisions to make, and plans to layout. The rest of this guide is intended to introduce, instruct, guide, and provide resources to you as you go through the adoption process. You will need to educate yourself, conduct a personal assessment, consider funding options, decide on the type of adoption and age of the child, choose an agency or attorney, complete a Home Study, engage in the placement process, receive your child, finalize the adoption, and parent your child. Don't panic. It may seem overwhelming, but this section will guide you through every step of the way.
If you spend twenty minutes or so "googling" on the word adoption or "adoption process," you will find that the problem is not a lack of information about adoption. Actually, the problem is that there is so much information on adoption that it becomes really difficult to find your way through it. That is where this guide comes in. The Show Hope Guide actually is more like an index with commentary to help you understand which issues are really important, and how to find the best resources for the step you are on, or the issue you are facing. As you read, you will become equipped to handle the decisions you face. You will find detailed guidance to help you plan your way. You will find out about common pitfalls, and how to avoid them.
At Show Hope, because we view faith and God's call as an integral part of the journey of orphan care and adoption, we have developed a simple message of H.O.P.E. to guide you on your way to "Building Bridges of Hope" for children and families. To view this guide, visit Show Hope.
You have already started educating yourself with the information you have read so far in this guide. Early on in the process, it is best to read information free from bias. It is our intention to provide prospective adoptive families with general adoption information in order to help you assess the type of adoption which is right for you without a bent towards a particular adoption agency, facilitator, type of adoption, country from which to adopt, or age of child. We have identified a number of beginner's guides to adoption, on-line courses, websites, and supplemental materials.
The recommended beginner's guides do overlap in many respects, but each provides its own unique perspectives on adoption. Shaohannah's Hope strongly recommends that you start your education with at least one or two of these beginner's guides because these resources will help you to gain an understanding of the nuances and many facets of adoption. These guides are listed in the chart below along with an informative course that you can take (free of charge) from Adoption Learning Partners.
| Beginner's Guide to Adoption |
|---|
| U.S. Dept. of H.H.S. National Adoption Information Clearinghouse (NAIC) (all types of adoption) - download PDF |
| Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption
(Foster Care Adoptions) - learn more |
| NAIC Guide in Spanish - click to read |
| On-line Beginner's Course on International Adoption |
| Adoption Learning Partners "Eyes Wide Open: Preparation Guide to International Adoption" - click to read |
In addition to the guides and the online course, you will want to do the following to get informed:
Before continuing on to the self-assessment, print out one or several of the beginner's guides and read through them.
The self-assessment is the best way to find out if you are ready to adopt.
Ask yourselves the following questions:
Parenting skills are essential to successful adoptions. If you are a first time parents, and particularly if you are adopting an older children, parenting classes are worth considering.
Be sure to explore funding and other adoption benefits through your current employer, and the foundations listed at the bottom of this paragraph. On the other hand, be realistic with your expectations, and seek to know the facts about costs up-front. As you are doing your research and beginning to talk to adoption placement professionals/agencies ask for a full delineation of all adoption fees and an explanation. One of the major pitfalls that many people experience in the adoption journey is problems with money. Ask about any additional fees to be added later. Inter-country adoptions can cost $10,000 - $35,000 with additional travel costs. Check with your employer(s) about potential adoption benefits; be aware of the adoption tax credit, which is currently up to $10,000 of qualified adoption expenses for international adoptions and is a flat credit for special needs domestic adoptions.
"I have prayed every night for God to give me a mom and a dad, but I have been waiting nearly 16 years and I still do not have parents. " 16-year-old Russian Orphan named Lena, aging out of the orphanage
Also, we recommend the On-line Course to understanding the Adoption Tax Credit available through: Adoption Learning Partners. There are a number of foundations which provide financial grants to adoptive families: The Abba Fund, Lifesong for Orphans, and Show Hope, to name a few.
There are many different types of adoption, such as: kinship adoption, domestic foster care adoption, private, domestic private, inter-country adoption, adoption of a healthy child or child with special needs, transracial adoption, and the adoption of an individual child or of a sibling group.
Domestic Private: These Adoptions can be facilitated by licensed adoption agencies (for-profit, or non-profit), attorneys or adoption facilitators, physicians, or other intermediaries. Often these children are adopted directly from their birth families using the services of adoption attorneys or adoption agencies to make sure that the legal requirements are met. Usually, the child's biological family chooses the adoptive family, and both parties take part in deciding how much future contact the original family will continue to have with the newly created family.
While most children adopted through private adoptions are infants, there are still many factors and variables to consider. Some of these are whether to consider only healthy infants, or infants with special needs or risk factors; whether to adopt only within your same race and ethnicity, or to adopt transracially and the degree of openness you wish to have with the child's birth family. A competent agency or attorney can provide you with counseling and classes to help you sort through these issues and make these decisions wisely.
Inter-Country (International): Adoption of children who are citizens of one country by parents who are citizens of a different country. Such adoptions require the approval of the governments of both countries. (When choosing a country from which to adopt, it is important to check the State Department website to make sure that this country is currently allowing inter-country adoptions to the U.S. to take place. Click here for more information.
"I share my story of growing up in foster care because I want to be the seen of the unseen and the voice of the unheard." 20-year-old child who grew up in Foster care
Kinship/Relative: Adoption of children by someone related to the children by family ties or by prior relationship connection. Children are sometimes adopted by their stepmothers, stepfathers, aunts, uncles or grandparents, if one or both of their parents cannot take care of them. These adoptions also need the assistance of licensed adoption professionals to make sure legal requirements are met.
Domestic Adoption from State Foster Care: Adoption of children from the U.S. foster care system, or public child welfare system. Many children in the community need new families because they are growing up in state-sponsored foster care in temporary situations that can change at any moment. These children are all ages-infants to adolescents-and races, some with health problems and some with none. Many are sibling groups of 2 or more children who need a family together. Having suffered losses, these children need new parents who are committed to helping them make the transition to a permanent home and the optimism and hope that a permanent family can offer.
While these children are generally in the custody of the public child welfare agency, these agencies often contract with private provider agencies in the community to perform the adoption services including preparation classes, home-studies, post adoption support and finalization. For most of these children, the state will provide access to Medicaid for their medical needs and a subsidy which can help meet other needs such as tutoring, summer camp, therapy, and child care or enrichment activities.
Each adoption is unique and needs to be designed to meet the specific needs and desires of the people involved. So long as the best interest of the child is the most important goal, the birth and adoptive families are free to design an adoption plan that allows complete confidentiality, or continued communication by telephone or mail, or direct contact over future years with all family members continuing to play a role in the child's life.
It is best to talk to families who have completed both open and closed adoptions to get their insight before making a decision. It is also very valuable to hear from older adoptees about their experiences and desires as well as to meet and listen to birth parents. One place to get a lot of information on open adoption is Insight: Open Adoption Resources and Support
There are four options - public agency, a private licensed agency, an attorney or a private unlicensed/ facilitator. It is important to qualify the agency with the questions provided in the guides; also make sure you check the agency's reputation by checking with: state licensing, child welfare organizations (see chart below), and online communities such as parent support groups and simply by searching the web. Be sure to get recommendations from others who have gone through the process before you - speak to families who have adopted from the same agency/attorney you are looking to choose. Also,find out whether or not the agency or attorney you have chosen will refund your deposit.
| Organization | Web Site |
|---|---|
| Annie E. Casey | www.aecf.org |
| Casey Family Programs | www.casey.org |
| North American Council on Adoptable Children | www.nacac.org |
| Child Welfare League of America | www.cwla.org |
| National Council for Adoption | www.ncfa-usa.org |
| Children's Defense Fund | www.childrensdefense.org |
| Joint Council on International Children's Services | www.jcics.org |
| Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute | www.adoptioninstitute.org |
| National Foster Care Fund | www.nationalfostercarefund.org |
| National Adoption Day Coalition | www.nationaladoptionday.org |
| Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute | www.ccainstitute.org |
| Pew Commission on Children in Foster Care | www.pewfostercare.org |
| Jim Casey Youth Opportunities Initiative | www.jimcaseyyouth.org |
Every U.S. state requires that all prospective adoptive parents complete a home study irrespective of the type of adoption they are pursuing. There are three general purposes of the home study:
Although home studies vary from state to state in components, cost, and time to complete, there are a number of common elements: training, interviews and home visits by the social worker, health and income statements, background checks, personal autobiographical statement, and references. It is important to remember that the home study is not designed to find perfect parents but appropriate homes for children. The beginner's guides have helpful and extensive information on the home study process.
"I almost could have missed this miracle of adoption." Steven Curtis Chapman
Legal problems are another area in which prospective adoptive parents can run into difficulties. Understand the laws (both domestic and international) which are intended to provide a protective framework for adoptive parents, children, and birth families. Unfortunately, there are unethical activities happening in the adoption arena, and by coming into the process aware and equipped of your rights, responsibilities, and what is considered "best practices" in child welfare, you will avoid typical pitfalls, compromising situations, and much heartache. It is important to keep in mind that the laws that are currently on the books in the U.S. and abroad have been created with the child's interest in mind. Honoring those laws is an important part of your adoption journey.
As you become emotionally involved with the child you are adopting, you will be tempted at times to try and circumvent rules which appear to be obstacles rather than a help. Remember, others will be adopting after you, and your actions will have an effect on future adoptions, and the overall system in which the orphans find themselves. If you find yourself continually bumping up against laws that seem to fly in the face of children's needs and best interests, you may wish to consider joining with others in advocacy efforts. There are always laws and regulations that need to be changed and reformed, and there are many opportunities for dedicated people of integrity to become involved in these advocacy efforts. See the chart below for resources and detailed information.
| Resource | About Resource... |
|---|---|
| Inter-Country Adoptions | Adoption Application Process |
| U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services |
Legal Definition of an Orphan - U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services |
| Department of State | This site provides both information and guidance to U.S. citizens seeking information about international adoptions. |
| National Adoption Information Clearinghouse (NAIC) | Information and resources regarding different types of adoption. Includes legal information on who may adopt and who may be adopted in each State. |
| Ethica | Summary of ethical issues in the adoption process. Ethica is an independent, nonprofit corporation that seeks to be an impartial voice for ethical adoption practices worldwide, and provides education |
| Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute | The Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization dedicated to eliminating the barriers that hinder children from realizing permanency |
| The Council on Foreign Relations | Article written by Ethan B. Kapstein of Foreign Affairs. Foreign Affairs is published by The Council on Foreign Relations. Article from "Foreign Affairs, entitled, "The Baby Trade" November/December 2003. |
| The National Center for Adoption Law & Policy | The National Center for Adoption Law & Policy seeks to improve the law, policies, and practices associated with child protection and adoption systems. |
| The Intricate World of Adoption Ethics | The Intricate World of Adoption Ethics. Presentation by Madelyn Freundlich. |
Medical and social information on the child is important! The medical/social area is the third major pitfall into which prospective adoptive parents often fall. Consider medical tests, physical measurements (normal for age?), developmental information, social development, pictures and/or video tape of child, if older school information, other data on social development.
It is important to gain as much insight as you can into the child's socio-emotional developmental and mental health status.
Due to issues related to separation, loss, grief, as well as abandonment, abuse, neglect and multiple disruptions in the lives of some children, they may have special emotional or mental health needs. A quality assessment in this area can help you to determine the types of services and supports you will need upon bringing the child into your family.
For a better interpretation of the child's referral, see list of international adoption clinics at Families Thru International Adoption. There are additional steps that you can use to ensure undiagnosed problems are revealed - please check these steps out in the beginner's guides. For more information on Medical and other issues, see the Medline Plus Site by National Library of Medicine and National Institute of Health.
There are two basic types of adoption: Simple and Judicial. Simple adoptions are those which are informal in nature, have not been recognized by any government authority and only take place domestically and usually between relatives. This practice is quite common on the African continent. In the United States, these "traditional" adoptions are very common in certain communities, particularly among American Indians, Hispanic and African Americans.
Judicial adoptions are those which are recognized by government authorities and are necessary for all international adoptions and for the vast majority of domestic adoptions as well. All judicial adoptions have a significant legal component and required documentation to be completed, such as FBI clearances, home studies, and medical and financial statements, state authorizations, CIS authorization, and the like. Click here to read about Child Welfare and the Courts. Click here to receive a DVD feature by members of the Pew Commission and parents, children, judges, lawyers and others talking about the foster care system and the courts.
Paperwork will vary not only from U.S. state to U.S. state, but from foreign country to country and even from region to region from within the countries you may be adopting. For a listing of documentation to be completed start with the Beginner's Guides and then work directly with your agency representative or attorney as it relates to your specific adoption.
In many respects, parenting an adopted child is not unlike parenting a biological child-they need love, security, direction, and understanding. Although it is critically important that these children be treated equal to any biological children, it is also important to combat the negative rhetoric and stereotypes associated with children who are adopted. One simple way to combat these stigmas is to celebrate their adoption, for instance through a special ritual or ceremony to help make their transition smooth, enhancing bonding and attachment.
Oftentimes families will celebrate a "gotcha" day, in addition to birth days. The "gotcha" day commemorates the day that you "got" your adopted child. It is important to be in tune with and sensitive to your individual child as you consider these suggestions. For example, while some children find "gotcha" day celebrations special and meaningful, others see it as one more reminder that they are somehow "different" than other children. In that case something more like planting a tree together is more appropriate than a party. It is important to keep in mind that adopted children have a past and that it is important to recognize and honor their past-their culture and racial heritage, their birth family and their own memories and experiences in ways that will edify them as they grow. One valuable tool to help you do this is a lifestory book. Children in orphanage or foster care need links that help them to connect their past, present and future. A life book is one tool that can help provide these links. For more information on a life book see the Children and Adoption Parenting Book Recommendations below.
For more information on post-adoption parenting and support start in the Beginner's Guides, and then see below our Adoption Kit Resource At-A-Glance for more information on post-adoption services.
| Resource | About Resource... |
|---|---|
| Adoption Learning Partners | Finding the Missing Pieces: Helping Adopted Children Cope with Grief and Loss |
| The National Resource Center for Family-Centered Practice and Permanency Planning | National Resource Center for Family Centered Practice and Permanency Planning |
| Casey Family Services | Casey Family Services Post Adoption Initiative |
| The Center for Adoption Support and Education, Inc. | Other publications for download or purchase — from Center for Adoption Support and Education |
| adoptiveparenting.com | Website addressing such issues as : attachment & bonding; parenting special needs; international families; and camps |
There is a Great Need. There are over 100 million orphans, worldwide. There is an international response. Yet, the Great Need is made up of little ones in need: A single child that needs a loving family. You can hear that child. You can be the caring environment that that child needs in order to really flourish. You can be a part of an event that transcends human understanding — the miracle of adoption!
